I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl.
None of that stuff happened to me, but I still wince when I remember how I idealized the thought of someone being single-mindedly obsessed with me the way the novel’s narrator is with Lolita.
That, by the way, is actually a comparison I made at the time, which is so gross to me now.Here are 10 things you’ll only understand if you’re dating a younger guy: You realize that most people think that age equals maturity. Just because I’m a girl I can’t date someone younger than me? When they find out my boyfriend is younger, one of the first things people ask me is if he’s immature. I obviously don’t think he’s immature if I’m dating him. People I barely know are always asking me, “But aren’t you worried about you guys not being on the same page? You’ll get used to those moments of realizing your childhoods were just a little different. This year, my husband, who will move up into his forties, will officially be married to a girl still in her twenties. Actually, we’re just over ten years apart but it so happens that there are three little months between his fortieth birthday and my thirtieth.Considering the fact that he teases me mercilessly about my abundance of gray hair, I think it’s about time I get to talk up my great youth.I mean, sure, there are some things that are different about dating someone who isn’t your age, but for the most part it’s really not that big of a deal. The most common reaction to the age difference is total shock, followed by the question “But how did you meet? Sometimes when you’re with him and all of his friends, you might feel a little out of place. You learn that people are rude enough to ask questions like, “But why would you date someone younger than you? Any girl who has dated a younger guy knows that other people tend to make this situation more awkward than it should be. ” Oh, I don’t know, I was trolling the local middle school and put a spell on him. ” Because I want to, and because I’m not judgmental. You realize that there’s a big double standard – most people won’t blink an eye about an older guy dating a slightly younger girl, but if it’s the other way around, watch out. After all, you didn’t exactly grow up at the same time. You missed our wild days and we're settled down now. We've learned a lot from our previous relationships. Before I get into the real nitty gritty, though, a few caveats.First, being attracted to older guys is completely and totally normal. We've picked up a lot of habits (some bad and some good), but you're not about to change them. Wendy, 15, Tunkhannock, PAFirst of all, I don't doubt your love for a second.At the same time, I am reading between the lines of your letter: You are 15, your boyfriend is 22--your friends and family are right to be concerned.