My blue eyes that have a slightly cynical outlook, my hips that are 2 sizes too big, sarcastic leanings and an extreme love for NCIS are what really defines me 😉 ): My role as a divorced single mom, I feel, is to seek healing, honest-to-goodness, soul-changing healing.
This healing takes time, pain, time, trust in God, time, and patience…oh, and time. Do what I dreamed of, go on adventures, ask people all sorts of questions, reflect, seek and live!
As queer people, when we don’t examine how internalized oppression is operating in our communities, friendships, and partnerships, we may be perpetuating some of the same systems that we are fighting against.
Suddenly, with my summer fling, I found myself instinctively taking more of a passive role, wanting to be protected and held, and dressing in ways that I thought he would be more attracted to (rather than my usual androgynous expression).
I started writing the answer to this post and before I could type a word, realized I had no idea what the answer was.
So I polled women I knew and respected of various marital statuses.
And while there is nothing wrong with, for example, the conscious and consenting decision for me to pay for dinner, so much of that unconscious behavior is rooted in greater systems of heterosexism and misogyny.Over the last half-century or so, gender roles in relationships have evolved.With the rise of the independent woman, gender roles have not only shifted, but they have never been more complicated to figure out. Women are no longer expected to depend solely on a man and be perfect little housewives.While researchers have long examined the dating and mate selection patterns among young adults, the vast majority have utilized Western samples.In order to further our understanding of the changing nature of dating behaviors and attitudes, this study examines a sample of young Chinese adults and focuses upon the gender differences therein.While fluidity in my gender expression is something that I have embraced as natural and just part of being me, the types of performance I have done in intimate partnerships (as one example) are not always who I am.Whether it is the perception of masculine of center folks as “more queer” than feminine folks or the simultaneous silencing of our femme community, queer folks who identify as masculine often carry unconscious power and One of the first things I noticed after I came out and began to innocently browse dating sites like Downelink and the like were the casual uses of words like “bitches” and “sluts” and “hoes” to describe women – and often femmes.A lot of women still expect and/or appreciate the little things that are traditional (although some consider them to be rooted in sexism), like holding the door open, paying for dates, pulling out chairs, being the one to initiate romance of any kind, etc.This can be confusing when you are dating a woman who comes across as independent and strong.We are called as women to submit to the pursuit and leadership of men. We have a biblical call to wait, submit and be patient.Since this is a biblical instruction spoken by God, in that place we as women will have most peace.Dating and romantic relationships are a normal, yet essential, part of life during the adolescent and early adult years.Beyond the basic desires which most individuals experience during this time, researchers have noted the relative significance of dating, not only for individuals but also for societies.For example…Now women feel an increased pressure to be able to “do it all”.