It's tough to wait around; you’re unsure if you're getting played, whether or not he's leading on other girls or if he really is as serious as you want him to be.
The best thing to do is simply to let him know that you are the kind of girl to whom he should commit. Just hearing words like “commitment,” “girlfriend” and “relationship” can scare some men away.
Maybe he suddenly pulls away after being affectionate with you.
Or he’s consistently late and it’s continuously getting on your nerves. Whatever your new guy did, how do you handle it without losing the fun, carefree feeling you’ve both been enjoying since you met? DON’T PRETEND EVERYTHING’S OKAY The default mode for most of us women – especially when we are very interested in a man – is to simply put up with what’s happening and stuff down our feelings for fear of scaring him away.
“Men mess up and then we feel badly about it.” One of my best friends in graduate school used to say this.
As we swapped stories, too often this was a conclusion we came down to. Another said he was too good for the girl he was dating. Women wishing it was a small drawback and not an indication of something bigger.
When you’re on the phone with women for 4 hours a day, you tend to hear a lot of recurring themes.
One of the most prominent themes is a “high-class” problem; in other words, if you’re having this issue, it means you’re doing very well with men.
The older you get and the more heartbreak you endure, the more you want to “not mess this up.” And so you keep quiet even when you’re seething with anger. ” when he suggests something you really don’t feel comfortable doing.It can even feel like too much work starting over with someone new.But deep down you may have a nagging feeling that something just isn’t right.If we want to take down our profiles and commit, we’ll do it.Which is why, when Maureen and Cassie breathlessly asked me to tell them what to do next, the answer couldn’t be more simple: NOTHING!!!Because of their own fear – of being abandoned, of being not-good-enough, of being too old, too rigid, too masculine – they seriously ran the risk of alienating their new men.Until I reminded them of a core principle in “Why He Disappeared”: men do what they want to do. If we want to introduce you to our family, we’ll introduce you to our family.You’ve spent a blissful time getting to know each other, and now you’ve hit it – your first disagreement.Here’s how to handle it to find out whether he’s good for you or not…and in a way that will bring you even closer together.Maureen and Cassie could not be more different as people, but they both have the agonizing problem of finding a man who absolutely adores them after less than one month of one-on-one coaching.Immediately, our conversations turn from, “Why are there no good men out there?!If this stage is full of doubt and uncertainty and dull resentment, it may be a bad sign.Truthfully, the most seamless way to move from the awkward pre-commitment stage and into the full-out exclusive stage is to wait.You pretend it doesn’t bother you when he isn’t giving you the time and affection you need.