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    Ways of intimidating people

    This covers the spectrum from higher ups at work, love interests, people we don't know at parties, popular people from school or the office, even celebrities. Often people we look up to (or those who we just don't know who seem cool) can bring up feelings we harbor about ourselves that we are not good enough, smart enough, interesting enough. We are all made from the same source and the truth is -- and this is repeated in many spiritual scriptures "we are all special and we are all not special." We are all equal, my friends. So, yeah, I'm a weak, imperfect person." Even wolves get scared! We are also beautifully different from one another, too -- which means all of us have some unique value and flavor to add to a conversation or social setting. Here are some reasons why other people should not intimidate you: 1. The fear of others is generated within us, not by the person in question. Some socially awkward types have the problem of being a bit too uneasy around certain types of people.Here are the big ones: When someone is intimidated by really outgoing people it's that they're worried about having to talk to them and feeling really overwhelmed and like they won't be able to keep up or know what to say.

    I believe that in most cases, the feeling of intimidation has nothing to do with the person who intimidates us. How many people experience near-paralyzing fear and nervousness when they’re introduced to the CEO of their company (or any other high-profile person) because they believe that they’re not good enough to be communicating with her?That’s why I talk about the dangers of living a fear-controlled life so often on this blog (like here, here and here for starters.)While that’s true, there’s one form of fear that I haven’t really addressed up until this point, and it actually might be the most common form of fear that exists. Or more specifically, Before I dive in, a quick disclaimer–I’m not a psychiatrist (obviously), so if you have a legitimate full-blown phobia of other people, then this blog post definitely isn’t for you.But for everyone else who sometimes feels scared or intimidated by other people for whatever reason, take a minute to fully absorb this quote: I’m a 40-year old man, and I’m not embarrassed to share that it took me close to 35 years of my life to get this lesson burned into my consciousness. This person could be your boss – someone with genuine positional power over you.Anything you do is scrutinized, challenged or faces disagreement.Think about your default response, as much as theirs.Consider what prejudices you bring to the table as much as what this person might bring.You’re quiet and don’t speak up to avoid being attacked. This person might even be a subordinate – somebody who works for you (believe me, this happens more than you might think.) You probably sense a lack of ‘parity’– that you don’t have the right to engage with this person at the same level. Or this person could be a colleague – someone who uses clever words and exerts personal power or expert power that you believe you can’t compete with.For most of my life, I freely gave my power away to anyone who wanted it.Actually, even if you didn’t want it, I was happy to give it to you anyway.You get used to them, start to see them as normal people, and learn firsthand that they have flaws and quirks and insecurities like everyone else.What also helps is improving your own confidence and social skills. Jordan Belfort, the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, said in his memoir, "I'm insecure and humble, and I embarrass easily... If I had to choose between embarrassment and death, I'd choose death. I really found this to be true on three particular, separate occasions. The third occasion was when I volunteered my number to a cute stranger at a concert in Sydney in 2007.

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